Local authorities have arrested the head rowing coach of the Gilfillan Lake Rowing Club (GLRC). GLRC is a private non-profit rowing program in a northern suburb of the Twin Cities, approx. 10 miles north of St. Paul.
The arrest follows a report from the Gilfillan Lake Ice Boating Club. During last weekend's Midnight Race series of North Oak 'hard water sailors' noted that their DN Ice Boats steel runners were getting caked with some type of sticky substance.
The charges against Dudley Tiffbottom stem from his recent activities to rid the lake of unwanted ice. Explained Tiffbottom, 'the ice is fairly thick and we want to get out and row. I hooked up my manure spreader to my Ford 8N tractor and filled the hopper with 2,200 lbs of rock salt, spreading it in a zig-zag across the 20 acre lake surface."
The arresting officer (Detective Sally Mulhaven, North Oaks PD) cited Tiffbottom with several charges, including pollution of a fresh-water drinking reservoir, criminal trespass, lack of vehicle permits and a number of federal EPA violations. It was also noted that the manure spreader hadn't been through the North Oaks Mr. Bubbles car wash to rid it of any residual 'field dressing' materials.
Tiffbottom will appear in Ramsey County Court on April 1st to face these charges, represented by attorney Frederico Schocko. Schocko noted his defense will likely plea that waiting for full ice-out in July would hamper Mr. Tiffbottom's ability to get any rowers out on the lake in time to practice for the summer races in nearby Duluth. Expected to attend is fellow rower, Tom Rowschenfeld of the Duluth Boat Club, intending to provide a character reference for Tiffbottom.
A EPA spokesperson noted that once ice-auger bit extensions are installed, salt levels in the lake will being monitored for any adverse effects to the native species ( frogs, turtles etc ) and that the captive population of landlocked coho salmon would likely not be severely affected, while the walleye's might be easier to catch this season.
As of this writing, the ice depth remains solid at 17."