7:30 – We’re live watching the Opening Ceremonies from the west coast…the ceremonies aren’t live though….definitely on tape delay. Just the people are live.

7:35 – first rower sited….Sir Matthew Pinsent carrying the Olympic torch in Henley. The rowers are only about 15 references behind Michael Phelps in the first five minutes.

7:42 – Matt Lauer is in the British spirit, just dropped “queue” and “tele” in the same sentence.

7:43 – Looks like the ceremonies will be featuring sheep as there are quite a bit of livestock in the Olympic Stadium along with a thatched cottage. Hopefully my dog doesn’t notice the sheep or we’re not going to be able to listen to Bob Costas’ opening poetry. The Brits are going BIG tonight.

7:45 – Studio interview with some US gymnasts…they’re wearing their leotards with sweatpants…not awkward at all. Also, they’re asking the gymnasts what it was like to meet Michael Phelps and what they think of Justin Bieber.

7:48 – Some big questions for the night: Will Redgrave light the caldron and strike a blow for rowers everywhere? Who will be the worst dressed delegation? My bet is yes for Redgrave and the Ukraine based on what their rowing coaches were wearing at the course this past week.

7:52 – Theme for the show is “Isles of Wonder”, and it looks like they’re taking on us on a low flyby of the Thames, and jackpot! More rowers spotted in Henley with Temple Island and what looks like Abington School rowing with their pink/white oars. Winning the PE Cup two years in a row has its perks!

7:54 – Here comes Bradley Wiggins, winner of the Tour de France last week and he’s wearing…yellow! He just rang a bell that weighs 24 tons and leaves.

7:55 – looks like they’ve recreated the Shire from the Lord of the Rings and are playing cricket there. Can we get a Frodo sighting please?…nope, though we just got a shot of princes William and Harry.

8:03 – We’ve got a Scottish woman drumming who’s been deaf since adolescence. She feels the vibrations and she’s ushering in the start of the industrial revolution inside the Olympic Stadium. Pretty legit work by the drummer.

8:09 – Touching memorial for all fallen soldiers worldwide since the start of the industrial revolution which also “industrialized warfare”.

8:15 – They are bringing in some molten rings now that I hope are forming the Olympic Rings. That or they are spaceships about to attack London. They’re the rings…whew.

8:21 – We’ve got James Bond now and two corgi’s…and the Queen! Now they’re getting into a helicopter at the palace to ride to the Stadium but the corgi’s don’t get to ride. Please have Bond jump out of the chopper with the Queen! Yes! The Queen jumps out first over the stadium. What up James Bond!

8:40 – things we’ve seen in the last 20 minutes: Nurses dancing, kids sleeping, JK Rowling (you’d be amazed at how many Harry Potter news feed items row2k gets because websites misspell her last name as ‘Rowing”), some creepy Alice and Wonderland characters, a 100 foot tall Voldemort with sparking wand, Cruella de Vil, and 100 Mary Poppins.

8:43 – Matt Lauer, “I don’t know if that’s cute, or creepy..” There’s a 100 foot baby (I think) in a bed. Consensus here is creepy. Definitely creepy.

8:47 – Mr. Bean playing Chariots of Fire (while iPhone texting)!! James Bond just got punk’d.

9:00 – More highlights: A Mini Cooper with a Go-Pro, British television, social media, four decades of British music, people flying with jetpacks, and the inventor of the world-wide web (not Al Gore).

9:06 – Just realized there’s three more hours of Opening Ceremonies, then the racing starts live 90 minutes after that. This is going to be one epic night…good thing I took a nap this afternoon!

9:13 – David Beckham is now driving a jet boat up the Thames with the Olympic Torch. Could he be the one to light the torch?! No. Way.

9:18 – First Phelps reference in 93 minutes. There won’t be that long of a gap again for the next 17 days. He’s being interviewed by none other than Ryan Seacrest. That guy is everywhere. The parade of nations on deck.

9:24 – Here we go with athletes, Greece up first followed by Afghanistan and Albania. Costas is about to start dropping some serious knowledge. Albania is one of 81 countries competing that has never won a medal.

9:27 – Costas is apparently younger that the flag bearer from Andorra, a trap shooter that also competed in the 1972 Games.

9:28 – Argentina comes in with giant suns on their jacket. row2k is big in Argentina.

9:30 – Here comes the Australian delegation. Lots of bright white pants have been paraded out so far, though nothing too over the top yet. Belarus has all white and apparently their president told them that it’s not about competing at the Olympics…it’s about winning the Olympics.

9:37 – More Costas knowledge, the Bolivian flag bearer is a swimmer who nearly drown as a child.

9:44 – Cameroon has the most unique attire so far, I don’t even know how to describe it though other than colorful.

9:52 – Denmark is historically the most successful non-Asian country at badminton (pretty good lightweight rowing too!)

9:54 – Apparently Ecuador’s most successful Olympian was a race walker in 1996 who then walked home from Atlanta following the Games.

9:57 – Did Estonia just walk in with in urban camo? Then Finland came in right after with some sort of arctic camo getup. What’s going on here?

10:00 – More white pants – Belize, Cayman Islands, Central African Republic, China, Croatia, Cyprus, Czech (White shorts with blue rubber boots), Estonia, Finland, France, Gabon, Georgia, and Germany. This should have been a drinking game but then I’d probably already be asleep.

10:00 – Interesting music selections for the parade of nations, some Amy Winehouse, the BeeGees, and U2.

10:07 – There’s a country called ‘Independent Olympic Athletes’ that has four athletes without a country. These four are the early clubhouse leader for happiest delegation.

10:11 –Israel has white pants too but I’ve lost track of the number countries now, maybe it’s best it wasn’t a drinking game.

10:13 – A Visa commercial just compared Michael Phelps to a bolt of lightning. Coincidentally Usain Bolt just led the Jamaican delegation out.

10:22 – Malaysia are the currently leaders for worst outfits so far, I’ll see if I can dig up an image. Unfortunately the standard bearers that lead out each nation aren’t eligible. They are wearing dresses with people’s faces on them.

10:24 – Costas just mentioned the rowing venue while Mauritania walked out. Random.

10:27 – New Zealand is coming up; hopefully their flag bearer is wearing the same outfit Mahe Drysdale wore in Beijing!

10:29 – Here come the Kiwis and yes, the fur coat is back!

10:40 – I can barely keep up with all the delegations pouring out into the stadium and neither can Bob Costas. I think he’s torn up his notes on each country and is just making stuff up now.

10:56 – Dang, I need to go to Turkey. Only a few more countries until the USA!

10:58 – Ukraine didn’t disappoint, the flag bearer had an awesome hat on, but I say Malaysia is still in the lead for worst outfit.

11:01 – Here’s comes team Ralph Lauren..er..the United States! Flag bearer is fencer and ’04 and ’08 Olympic Champion Muriel Zagunis. Both her parents were Olympians and her father was a rower in the 1976 games. Costas didn’t mention any of this….one point row2k. NBC appears to be just looking for the USA men’s basketball team. Hello LeBron and Kobe. Also shown in the crowd, Michelle Obama and Mitt Romney. There’s got to be a joke here but I’m fading fast.

11:08 – Last couple countries: Yemen, Zambia, Zimbabwe, Great Britain! GB is wearing white and gold and are coming out to the song ‘Heroes’…no expectations there! Flag bearer is cyclist Chris Hoy. Apparently seven billion pieces of paper were just released over the stadium. I would have thought there were only six billion…

11:17 – Only 45 minutes to go, we’re back to the “entertainment” portion of the event. The Arctic Monkeys are doing a cover of “Come Together” and there are people dressed as pigeons riding bicycles around the stadium. You read that sentence correctly.

11:19 – Now one of the pigeons is doing its best impersonation of E.T. and flying it’s bicycle through air.

11:21 – LeBron James.

11:23 – Talking. Not really paying attention to what’s being said. Bring out the FLAME!

11:24 – My personal favorite torch lighting was from Barcelona in ‘92, the archer who shot the flaming arrow. Talk about pressure! Can the opening ceremonies that had the Queen of England enter the stadium by parachuting from a helicopter possibly top that? Probably not.

11:27 – The Queen officially opens the Games and there are fireworks but no flame! Come on REDGRAVE! REDGRAVE! REDGRAVE! REDGRAVE!

11:30 – Muhammad Ali!

11:32 – Ugh, more David Beckham in a jet boat.

11:33 – REDGRAVE! He takes the torch from Beckham and is now jogging into the stadium! Perfect time for a commercial? NBC thinks so..

11:38 – Redgrave gives the torch off to a group of young athletes. Not sure what’s going on. Give fire back to Redgrave!

11:41 – Now the young athletes all have their own torch with the flame who then light something that turns into a cauldron. Not overly impressed.

11:45 – LOTS of fireworks. These were executed better than the San Diego 4th of July firework display.

11:46 – Sir Paul McCartney singing under the 24 ton bell.

11:48 – Hey, Jude! A bit of an awkward performance, I’m guessing there are quite a few athletes whose parents weren’t even born yet when this song came out.

11:53 – That’s it, time to nap for an hour then it’s GO time!