I.
Start
RiverWesternWeeksAndersonEliot
Sprint
- ee roei
II.
After the first half-mile, brah, if I'm wondering if I'm going to make it, that's da kine pace. If I know I won't make it, or feel like I can definitely make it, I'm off. It has to be in doubt either way. You got beef wit dat?
- Eddie Woodgoe
III.
If the river is moving, the black boat must be flying.
- Stevenson Jacquet
IV.
I do not know which to prefer, the beauty of the start, or the beauty of the finish. The headrace whistling ahead, or just behind.
- anonymous
V.
I took the Eliot St. turn far too wide
After you had kept the rating just right for so long
Forgive me
I was thinking about getting out of the boat
So cramped and so cold
- Frederick Schoch Frederick
VI.
Two singles converged at a stone bridge
And yet having perhaps the better claim,
Knowing how bridge leads to bridge, I,
I took the outside
And that made all the difference.
- Gettim Onnawater
VII.
A head race? I did that last year with my college reunion boat - never more.
- Edgar Allan Row, class of 93
VIII.
I'm stroking my team's women's 8 this year, so see the race as a celebration of myself. What I assume the crew shall assume. Now leave me alone while I psych myself up, leaning and loafing at my ease observing a nice piece of national team ass.
- Meg Whitman
IX.
Whose bridge this is, I think I know,
Elliot's house is in the village though, he would not mind me stopping here,
The water is lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep.
- Kris Frosteniowski
X.
Churning and churning in the eights widening gyre,
The tillerman cannot find the tiller.
What rough crew, come round the final turn at last,
Slouches towards the finish to be done?
- William Butler Bowball, finish line judge
XI.
No! I am not Aquil Abdullah, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant wingnut, one that will do
To swell a workout, start a piece or two,
Advise the dude; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Slow, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of cytomax, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous--
Almost, at times, the Fool.
- T.S. Eliott Bridge
XII.
"Turn, turn, turn,
to everything there is a season,
(a time for leg drive, a time to way 'nuff,
a time to cast away rigger bolts, and a time to gather rigger bolts together")
- God, as covered by the Starbyrds
XIII.
I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, frothing, who chained themselves to a twisted shell for the endless ride from BU to holy Brighton on adrenaline until the noise of seat wheels and coxswains brought them down shuddering mouth-wracked and battered bleak of brain all drained of brilliance [repeat etc. for three miles]
- Allen Wrench
Adaptations by Colburn, Rosenbladt, Hewitt, with apologies to all involved
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