London -- The financial and rowing world was further rocked today by the revelation that 200 billion euros more than previously thought have been lost in erg swaps. Erg swaps, a little-understood investment vehicle in which sweep rowers are converted to scullers, and starboard rowers into ports, led to fantastic profit run-ups in the late 1990s, but have since come back to haunt many of the investment and boat houses who placed an overly heavy reliance on them for their trading revenues.
"It is evident that this practice provided cheap capital during a time when bank capital levels were under increased scrutiny," a bond trader commented, "but without effective heart-rate monitoring, no one really understood the mechanisms of credit flow. Investing, like rowing, is all about leverage. As we now advise our clients, ergs and derivative financial instruments don't float! There are few bright spots in the data right now, and we're advising our clients to stick to coxing."
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