row2k Features
A rowing memoir by Michael Danziger
Being the Worst and Making the Best of It
October 25, 2017
Ed Moran, row2k.com

In a sport where almost everyone is "Type A," personality, or trying to be, Michael "Zig" Danziger is making a name for himself being - well - just OK.

His story is not one that a person would usually turn into a book, or an example of what happens when you stick with something long enough, but he has. It's titled "Small Puddles: The Triumphant Story of Yale's Worst Oarsman. Ever," and this weekend he was signing books in his own booth near the Elliot Bridge at the Head of the Charles Regatta.

row2k spotted Danziger at the 2017 Head of the Charles and talked with him about the book and about rowing four years in the fourth lightweight varsity boat at Yale University.

row2k: Tell us about your experience rowing.

Danzinger: There are three ways to get a varsity letter at Yale; one is to row in the first boat, the other is to row in the second boat versus Harvard. The final way is to row all four years.

And I'm the only person ever to row all four years and not letter, because, as the coach told me, I was, by orders of magnitude, the worst rower he'd ever seen. After that he said, but you're better than every son of a bitch who ever quit.

And that's my claim. As a matter of fact, I just got a tattoo with a Y with the crossed oars for a 4. Of course, I lied to my kids, I told them it stood for four years in the varsity, instead of four years in 4V.

row2k: Where any of your races successful?

Danzinger: In my entire career, I won two shirts, and I never made it out of the fourth boat.

row2k: So, what is in this book?

Danzinger: The book is about persistence and fellowship. It's not like I didn't care and I just wanted to be the worst. I was so sad every time I didn't make the 3V, or wasn't taken on the spring trip.

My best friends were all these people who shared this experience. A guy named Mike Hard, who ended up rowing in the US National team and was phenomenal said, "other than the fact that the varsity goes two and a half miles an hour faster than the 4V, we are all oarsmen."

row2k: You rowed in the Head of the Charles?

Danzinger: Yeah, I rowed in this after I graduated from college, because Dave Vogel told me that putting me in the Head of the Charles would be a waste of boat space.

It was guaranteed that the boat I would be in would move so far back in pack that we'd never be able to move up again. So, I rowed in the head of the Connecticut in a coxless pair, and we finished last in our race.

Then the next three races rowed through our boat and we finished fourth in the women's four.

Mike Danziger proudly displays his Yale Crew tattoo
Mike Danziger proudly displays his Yale Crew tattoo

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